Bring it On!
My brother Tony lives in Winnipeg – the Athlone of Canada. Despite the cold, he has a warm sense of humour – on the assumption that you are not overly sensitive. He recently said: “How is it that in every story you tell, you’re always the hero.” Ouch! So, just to prove him wrong here’s an anti-Hero story.
Meribel, France: February 2018: For a variety of reasons, we hadn’t gone skiing for a couple of years and had forgotten the level of fitness required (I love the concept of fitness). On this particular afternoon, we were high up the mountain. The blue-sky and soft snow conditions from early morning had morphed into an icy blizzard, making visibility difficult and traction on the skis virtually impossible. Think downhill cycling with no brakes and you’re getting close. Both of my daughters – Amie and Nicole – were snowboarding. Nicole, a reasonably good skier, was attempting to snowboard for the first time. In these particular conditions she was ‘all over the place’ with more falls than a Judo Tourament. By late afternoon, the light had started to fade and the snow began to pound down. With a 2-mile run to the base of the mountain, we were struggling. Some decisions had to be made.
Super Dad: Faced with these exact circumstances, ask yourself: “What would I do?” What I did was leave the two of them on the mountain, making it safely down myself. I then stood at the bottom, hoping they would survive! I know, I know. As an example of self-preservation it’s up there alongside the Captain of the Concordia abandoning ship (he was later imprisoned). While my conscience was marginally eased when they got down safely (Nicole courtesy of a ski lift), this one ranks as a low moment in parenting.
Managing Anxiety: Now I’m normally an OK Dad – not known for abandoning kids (even adult kids) on the side of mountains. To understand what happened we need to consider what’s often called our Lizard Brain and how this functions. Somewhere – back in the dark and distant past of human civilisation – humans were programmed with a fight/flight response. Faced with ‘imminent danger’ (e.g. a sabre-toothed tiger) we either stood and fought or ran away. As part of this involuntary response, our body floods with adrenaline, we get heart palpitations, sweaty palms and feel a powerful urge for action i.e. to do something. At the crucial moment I choose to bail off on the girls, only later fully realising the stupidly of that response (worst case scenario we could have walked down). Not exactly a proud moment. The girls thought it was hilarious and ribbed me mercilessly for days on end. How do I know about the physiology of the fight/flight response? Because it’s exactly the same ‘involuntary fear response’ that some people (including myself) get when flying.
Aberdeen Calling: About 6 months earlier, I had to fly to a work gig in Scotland. On the day in question, the small propeller aircraft practically guaranteed a roller coaster ride in the bad weather conditions. While I couldn’t think of any reasonable way to get out of this, it still took a huge effort to get on that stupid plane. So, what can you do? Resign yourself to holidaying in Leitrim forever? Jesus! Or try to overcome the fear. To date I’ve tried hypnosis and prescription drugs (Zanax). Through reading I’ve become a nerd on airline technology, attended fear of flying courses, consumed copious amounts of alcohol (I drink more on airplanes than anywhere else), and have tried several relaxation techniques. Sometimes it’s a combination of the above to get through long flights. So, lest there was ever any doubt about it, this note officially confirms that I’m no hero. But I refuse to completely give in to anxiety and let it dominate my life. While fear can be an irrational pain-in-the butt, I’m still in charge.
I hope there’s something in this rant that’s useful to you. I’m feeling better already having given up on that Hero complex!
Paul
Ps Lighter Notes (staying with the theme)
“You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don’t think there’s really any oxygen. I think they’re just to muffle the screams.” Rita Rudner
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself… and spiders (anon)
Pilots = the first to arrive at the scene of an aviation accident.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick back – then they get bigger again.
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of takeoffs.
“My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I’m thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.” Dennis Miller
General Cynicism (an important part of the Monday Morning diet)
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
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Confessions of a Consultant 