Every now and then a new word or phrase comes into common usage and gets plugged so much, that you begin to hate it – like an overplayed Christy Moore track that makes you wish you were deaf. One current phrase in vogue is ‘socialise’ as in: “We need to socialise this idea.” I hate that phrase just marginally more than ‘Mindfulness’ (people are always searching for a BIG new idea to Hoover up human unhappiness). This curmudgeonly stance (look it up!) motivated me to delve into the archives and pull out an old standard called Buzzword Bingo! Do you remember it?
Instructions: Do you keep falling asleep in meetings? Then just tick off five buzzwords in one meeting and shout out Bingo really loud. Here’s a list of 40 items. Listen up hard at your next meeting!
|Hardball||Sense check||The full 9 yards||Touch base||Value adding|
|Heads up||Synergies||Top quartile||Lessons learnt||Leveraging|
|Take that off line||Goal posts||Bandwidth||Proactive||Core business|
|Metrics||Movers & shakers||No brainer||Game plan||Put this one to bed|
|Ball Park||Disconnect||Win Win scenario||Tick the boxes||Results driven|
|Mindset||Show stoppers||Big picture||Cascade downwards||Strategic Fit|
|Schedule driven||Remedial Action||Mission Statement||Stake Holders||Big ticket items|
|Raincheck||Ducks in a row||Fast track||Bench Marking||Any F***ing latin word|
The Message: Stop using tired clichés to communicate. Saying things like: “Not every egg becomes a chicken” might be funny (the first time you say it). But there’s a good chance that some people won’t have a clue what you mean or are just bored hearing you say the same stuff over and over. Here’s the deal. Start to really listen to what others are saying, rather than working on your ‘clever response’ while they are still speaking. Then you have a much better chance of people actually listening to what you are saying. Start doing it now i.e. don’t ‘kick that can down the road’…
PS Lighter Moment: Golf Rule Changes for Seniors (courtesy of Brendan Butler)
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled intothe Rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall Grass which lazy ground keepers failed to mow.
Rule 2.d.6 (B)
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The Senior Player must estimate the distance the ball would have travelled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.
There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty.
If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.
Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.
There is no penalty for so-called “out of bounds.” If penny-pinching Golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The Senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.
There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as all golf balls should float. Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers’ shortcomings.
Rule 8.k.9 (s)
Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impractical for many Senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.
Not a golfer? How about these….
“I’m sick of all the shit on TV at the moment. Although it’s probably my fault for putting the birdcage there in the first place.”
“My wife said she’s leaving because of my addiction to Facebook. I didn’t Like her comment.”
“I’m not a big fan of shopping centres. Once you seen one, you’ve seen the mall.”
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